Nothing Better

No Doubt 2009 Tour Widget

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 06:13:57 GMT

No Doubt 2009 Tour Widget

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 05:08:25 GMT

im going through my return of saturn.

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 21:20:41 GMT

i sometimes dont know if im ready to settle down, and become a grown up, or go out and party every night with my "friends." its the battle inside my head, and i act bipolar...(inside my head.)

im roughly 3 grand in debt...i didnt add all my bills up..(im too afraid to see what i actually am)...so 3 grand sounds good. another reason to why i shouldnt go out and party all the time.

i think i am growing up.

if i could write...

Wed, 28 May 2008 04:13:30 GMT

about everything thats happened in the last 2 years...it could be a movie.

i feel alone.

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 02:25:35 GMT

the other night when me and greg went to bed, i started bawling my eyes out. i really miss my mother. and by saying that i really upset greg which cause a fight yesterday with me throwing my phone at him and almost walking out. (im pmsing bad) but not seeing my mom everyday makes me really upset. she is my best friend and i dont like going over there when my dad is there and i cant even call when hes home. but the fight yesterday OMG. greg was teasing me and i asked him to stop very nicely a couple times, but he contiuned to do it. so i said leave me alone. (cuz im PMSING)

he gets up and starts puttin on his shoes telling me hes leaving cuz i told him to leave him alone. which then i threw my phone at him. ( i seeem to like throwing my phone)

i guess i just really upset him by saying leave me alone and that i miss being home.

well i really do miss being home. and i miss going out. and i want greg to go out. but he never can or just doesnt want too.

im a little better today then i was. i hope things get better.

live journal is dumb.

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 02:56:25 GMT

ha. then why am i writing this? probaly becuase myspace is even dumber. i want to get off of it really. but not while i know that greg is still part of it. yeah i know he needs it for band, but he always complaines how he hates it.

i love him

i dont think ive ever been so much in love with someone. i dont think he even relaizes it. weve made plans. to move in together. and get a puppy. i cant wait. hes going to be a bull dog named slash.

it wont be for awhile from now. but everyday passes, and i cant wiat for it to happen.

theres no doubt in my mind that we will get married.

the only fights we get into is when we have been drinking.

when nicole kicked me, i smashed her in the face, and then i went down like a ton of bricks. mostly becuase i was drunk. and when i was lying on the floor, he talked to me like a little kid telling me to get the fuck up.

yeah maybe i was being dramatic.

but i had, had a 40oz of oldstyle, part of a jack and sprite, and 3 redbulls and vodka.

i really need to stop drinking.

i really need to start concentrating on school. cuz i dont. all i do is play with my sidekick. ANOTHER thing me and greg fight about. he hates my phone. i love soo much, that i am getting rid of it. maybe im being a stupid girl. but im in love. so shut your face.

xo

i dont get you.

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 21:07:48 GMT

not just one person. but alot of people. my 21st birthday was on thrusday. and tons of people said they would come. most of them didnt even show up with out saying a damn thing. and i think i know why, becuase of kim. and its fucking stupid and ridiculous of people. i dont fucking care, shes my best friend. im seriously too the point whereas i dont want to talk to anyone. people talk TOO much shit. i also found out that amanda talked shit about me. that im conceited (go figure) i wouldnt be pissed about the situation,if i talked she about her and hated her. but i dont. ive never said anything too or about amanda. ever. so im going to do, what i normally do, and uh yeah dont say anything. and pretend everyone is best friends with everyone. sometimes i just wanna be with greg. and leave. and go away. and not come back. and change my number. gregs too busy any way. hahhaha. i seriously hopes he realizes that im differnt then other girls. (kim knows what im talking about) ok it think ive got my point across. venting is over. <3

hella nervous?

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:28:14 GMT

i want to take a step futher into my relationship with greg. but you know what the problem is? i dont even know if we are dating. we could be, or we couldnt be. i want to bring it up to him so badly, but also, i dont want to embarras myself. i know that if we did date, it would be perfect. i could still have a life, and have someone who cares for me also. note that we are both really busy so thats why it would work mostly. i always like the most difficult of people. why is that. im seriously going deep here. and i dont know what to do. cuz im so confused and what not. im going to try and get him to come to my cousins wedding tommorrow. so i dunno. ugh i hate likeing guys.

whos anthony? whos anthony? my drummer.

Sat, 17 Sep 2005 00:26:24 GMT

tonight is going to be amazing. downtown party. with....
val
lisa
mike
cory
gina
shannon
steve
rus
luda
jagerca

and i think a couple more people. this will be the best group. ever.

im getting hammered. i dont care if i have work at 8 am tommorrow. i can do it.

shuaaaaa.

oh my sweet darling happiness youve been away from me way too long.

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 15:42:37 GMT

i said i would update after my weekend with greg. ok so here it is. he picked me about 3:00 saturday afternoon. when we got there, gregs roomate had bought "the blues brothers" on DVD. had about 5 beers. after that me and greg walked to lincon park and went to this nice mexican restraunt called La Hacendia. it was really nice looking. we then took a taxi back, and we watched mean girls and listened to music. i had maybe 12 more beers. i passed out, for maybe an hour on the couch..then woke up and drank 6 more beers. damn PBR. greg is so funny. he brought out this faboulos cd and we started dancing. he also took out this hat he bought that says G-unit on it. i have so much fun hanging out with him. yeah thats all. i kinda did miss that i didnt go downtown with cory in all them, but they are coming with me too gregs on friday. its going to be awesome. on another note. i feel as if some of my friends are starting to fade away...and i dont want that too happen. its all becuase of stupid drama that shouldnt be drama. cuz the situation was stupid, and no one should of been mad at me at all. people need to just relax and kick back and have a good time. they make it seem like there life is so hard. listen we have it easy right now. so yeah. im done.

NO.

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 19:43:16 GMT

Im falling........

hey now.

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 15:11:29 GMT

another iteresting weekend. may i say so myslef. i think val summed most of it up for me. but not sunday! <3

i went on a date with greg. and it was awesome. first we went out to chillis. then we went to haunted trails and we went on the go-karts, and played mini golf. we also played the games and won tickets, but we ended up giving them too a little kid. then i took greg to ashburrys. i cant believe me and him went on a date. and saturday im spending the weekend with him. he is picking me up saturday afternoon. and im not coming home till sunday. we are going to get drunk, smoke ciggerettes and listen to the faint. the main reasons why i like this guy, is a) hes older, he 24. b)he knows what hes doin in life. (he owns his own company, and he is in a band.) but then there is the negative side too him 1)when he gets drunk he can sometimes be an asshole. 2)he works 14 hour days 3)i dont know if he would want a relationship with me....do i even want a relationship? i have no idea.i just cant wait till saturday.

also. im in love with two new friends of mine. gina and shannon. they are the coolest. yeah, i know im lame. but i love new friends. anyway. probally the next time ill update will be after the greg filled weekend. PEace.

most random journal. ever.

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 15:42:12 GMT

this past month has been really fun. The beginning of augest, i didnt really hang out with my direct group of friends. (i did bring val along) i needed a break from them. then i started hanging out with them again. and it was great. i think the best was going downtown to gregs (not greg the keg) at 130 in the morning. sigggggggh greg. i dunno what to do with that guy. boys in bands bring out the bad side in me. at least when i used to like cory i was shy about it. well when i met greg last summer, it brought the bad side in me. but he almost started too pull his shit again when we were leaving the apartment. greg,"jess, stay the night." me,"no greg, remeber last time i didnt go home to spend the night at your house?? thats right i got kicked out." but he was being sweet. he put on the rolling stones's, "wild horses" and put his arm around me....we'll he pulled me toward him. then we left after the song. val starts to go outside and i say bye to greg and give him a hug. val is halfway down the steps, when i start to leave the door, greg grabs me, grabs my purse, and throws it on the couch, and starts dancing with me. (greg always told me that he doesnt dance.) slowdancing mind you. it was really sweet. but im an asshole, and the whole time we were dancing i was bitching that i gotta go. then i go into the hallway and he follows me, grabs me by the waist and then kisses me. he then replys with, "sorry old habits." and then i started walking down the stairs, and then he says,"but not really." i replyed with,"what do you mean not really?" and i run back upstaris to him. he kisses me again and tells me,"but it could be a new habit." i almost dropped dead right then and there. im like i gotta go. it was seriously out of a movie. if i had to pick a person to be with, i think it would be greg. we go way back. i mean did like cory alot. and i really thought something would come about it. but i realiazed i would rather have him as a best friend of mine. i know too many people who have crushes on the guy. i aint gonna compete with that. hell no. and i know cory your going to read this. but i really wanted to get this out, so we dont have to be akward towards eachother sometimes. i love ya death though. but anyway back to greg. i can see my self with him, but like every other guy, there secertly assholes. and while they makeout with you one night, they go and makeout with someone else another night. eh. i do it too. ya know why? cuz i can. im not tied down. its not like im fucking differnt guys. cuz my closest friends know im not like that. i just like to make out. wow. this journal went in so many directions that im compeletely lost.

you.

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 17:13:47 GMT

why do i compare ever single guy that is interested in me too you?

4 old friends in one week.

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 15:34:01 GMT

this week has been competely nuts. 4 people who i used to talk too came back into my life this past week.

1. christina-we used to work together. she fell in love. im glad that im talking to her again. she was a good friend.

2. D-Rod-i havent seen this mother fucker in almost 2 years. i meet him through nicole. he hated my ex boyfriend. he makes me laugh. i found him on my space. hes a good friend too have back in my life right now

3. Bobby from the hollow- this mother fucker through a pumpkin at me and mel from a 2nd story window. he apologized too me. and invited me to a party hes having on the 12th

4. Greg from the hallow-(the final and most important) i havent talked to greg in almost year. he was the best person to talk to. epecially while drunk. he used to call me at 230 am everynight to talk to me while he was drunk. he made me laugh. we was one of the people who pushed me the most into going back home. we talked on the phone last night for 2 and a half hours. i DONT talk on the phone. ever. i hate it. but i missed this guy so much. ill be seeing him also the the 12th.

theres one more person id like back into my life. nicole. but oh well.

you.

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 00:24:36 GMT

ugh.
hairbangers ball.
6 pitchers of beer.
equals
headache
and
someone
not
showing
up
that
i
wanted
to
see
equals
migrane.

everyones fucking on the dance floor.

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 16:38:19 GMT

finally. i can breath without thinking that im going to die if you dont talk to me. i over-reacted. (acholol usually plays a big part on this) i love your friend ship. you make me laugh and i have a good time. thats ALL i need. if everyone could be like you, it would make the world go round. so here is my final word too you: be my FRIEND forever. thank you good bye. cuz your such a black laker table.

its been a long time since ive felt so sick.

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 16:45:08 GMT

im sick of hearing what i want to hear when im drunk. im sick of telling MY feelings when im drunk. im sick of getting attention from the ones, that i DONT want it from. i hate feeling SHY. im sick of feeling ALONE. it KILLS me to hang out with you.
I'm DONE, over and out my dear.

change is needed.

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 18:37:15 GMT

well of course most of you know that, that this past week has been the worst week ever for me. sure everyone goes through bad times. its karma i know it.

yesterday kim picks me up at work at 6...and val comes with us to see this band called "escaping ellsworth" the guy that kim likes, is friends with the band. so thats basicly the main reason why we were up there. i HATE going to local band shows, cuz everyone sucks. so to make my night better i bought a bottle of bacardi hurricane. ok, you might not think that it cant fuck you up right, but when you almost have a whole bottle to yourslef, you FEEL it. my eyes were blood shot. so after the show we decide to go to a hotel. ugh...i dont ever want to do it again. ever. it was hot and sweaty. and the room was small and there was too many of us. i was sitting on the window sill the whole night. i really kept to myslef. cuz i had alot on my mind.....

well kim had to go follow her guy home...cuz he was drunk as fuck...and i had to go get some of my things from the car, cuz val and mike were going to drive me home..and a cop stops us. tells us too tell everyone to leave. kim drives off and leaves me there. i hide behind a car. (i was pretty drunk mind you) then amanda calls me and tells me to come up stairs that the cops say that we could stay but no one could leave. well that really upset me cuz i HAD to go home. cuz im on a bad track record right now. i started to cry.(and they have never seen me cry, ever) it was everything i guess building up to last night. my car, my parents, my friends, boys....blah blah blah. but hotel rooms NEVER again. i eventully got home..and everything is peachy.

"giving up is going to be so hard"

Mon, 23 May 2005 03:08:38 GMT

just let me say this while i have the time.
do NOT steal homeless peoples shopping carts at 330 in the morning while drunk.
you will get hollerd at.

weekend mishaps.

Mon, 16 May 2005 20:47:00 GMT

lets start out with friday. im just going to overview the whole thing.
Friday~
*i worked 2-8
*bought 2 bottles of bacardi razz and 7 up plus
*got home at 8, made myself two glasses of razz/7 up
*gave 2nd bottle to jizz and kim, cuz i felt bad for not letting them come with to another party
*cory picked me up in club focus to go to pary in mokena
*everyone at the party looked the same.
*cory wore his karate outfit
* we drank razz
*we both got sick at the same time and it was hott
Saturday~
*hangover
*went out with my mom
*we shoped and went to my aunts and had ribs which were amazing.
*went to forest party for 20 mins
*felt sick
*went to pick up beer at work
*picked up cory and lou dogg
*went to science class girls tralier
*watched scienc calss girl whore it up
*danced to lil jon
*some creepy guy stuck a banana in my face
*lou sang holla back girl
*judy was on coke the whole night
*stayed sober the ENTIRE night
*came home at 4 am.

no but actually...

Fri, 13 May 2005 02:45:07 GMT

i went to eds house yesterday...just hanging out with my fav people.
i was just suppose to drink a couple of beers cuz i had to drive home.
well that did NOT happen. i drank almost a whole 12 pack.
i said some things that i shouldnt.
cuz i didnt get a reply to them.
now im at work
cuz my internet has crashed.
and its been 5 whole days w/o my space.
i also reilized that i need some new girlfriends that live close to me...dont get me wrong i LOVE kim, jizz and amanda...but they live so far away. and since kim doesnt have a job right now, i dont wnat her driving out here anymore.
ahhh
well tommorrow i hope i go out.
i work 2-10
but
im leaving at 8

few times ive been around that track.

Fri, 13 May 2005 02:33:27 GMT

so i quit drinking.

soon you'll be here with me, making out.

Thu, 05 May 2005 14:58:17 GMT

yesterday was pretty relaxing for my day off. ps. don vito was at bar chicago last week.
this was my day yesterday.
*haircut
*mt. dew
*nap
*mall
*chillis
*ashburys
*home
back to work today 2-10

i slept through the night....

Wed, 04 May 2005 15:34:52 GMT

and didnt wake up once. which is a know fact, that im better. and about to let things,just....go.

Cut the engine when I'm all revved up, pull the rug beneath my feet
Pull the trigger when I'm wound up, then you turn your back on me
Then you say that I'm taking too much, that I'm talking to myself
And whether you like it or not you'll never ask for help
Breathing for you
Can't be all in my head
Changing scares you
This is all in your head
Beware, I swear, I will be waiting there
Draw the battlelines and back me down to the corner with such ease
Turn the knife til I'm so worked up all I do is aim to please
The power balance is now upside down with a sudden change of gears
Every single word is now washed up by your crocodile tears
The setting sun crumbles in the distance
Feeble words meeting new resistance
Tired games do they make a difference
Tired games, tired games